“正视自己的内心”——顾天阳



        正视自己的内心

                                  作者:Billy(顾天阳)

1

2021年,我想写的内容,希望能警醒到当稍有成绩的自己,亦或者是帮助到将来某一天可能会陷入迷茫的自己。
In 2021, I want to write sth in the hope of guarding against conceit when I have achieved something or helping myself overcome confusion one day in the future.
 在这个瞬息万变的世界中,我们或多或少体会到了这世界给我们带来的不安分,不公平,以至于使我们看不清自己的路该怎么走。是否要停下,亦或者改变自己的前进的方向。回首以往,我时常会被动摇自己定下的决心,当自己由于短暂的小成绩得到满足而忘却曾经坚定不移的信心,从而又回到自我放纵中的时候;当自己被可能不劳而获的利益所打动,想要放弃先前奋斗目标的时候;当自己在持守一些目标而又得不到实际的反馈的时候;我必须提醒自己,请正视自己的内心,寻找到起初那份认真,那份执着,那份不求回报只求脚踏实地的热忱。

In this rapidly changing world, we must have felt the restlessness and unfairness it bring us, to the extent that we can not see our way forward, or make up our mind of pausing for a while or changing the direction.In the past, I often wavered in my determination. When I forgot all about my originally unshakable faith because of temporary tiny achievements and went back to self-indulgence, when I planned to give up my preset goals because of profit by other people’s toil, and when I insisted on certain goals and received no feedback, I must remind myself of facing up to my inner self and enthusiasm of keeping my feet on the ground and expecting nothing in return. 



2

类似的挣扎,今天一直存在,当人们摈弃自己的信仰,自己的目标,哪怕得到一些眼前的利益或者是自己所承受不住的好处时,我们仍会不满足,我们仍然可能会感觉到沮丧,更不用说正在迷茫中,不知自己的路该怎么走的时候,至少在一段时间之内,我们是十分软弱的。而假若我们此时的目标选择建立在某些错误的思想或者遵循某些现阶段无害的潮流而走,我们将会遭受更具毁灭性的试探。在这里,我有必要提醒自己,持守起初的信仰,持守自己的目标,不要在满足中自义,亦不要在困难中放弃。
Similar struggles exist today. When we abandon our own beliefs and goals,we won’t be contented, let alone confused and having no idea of how to proceed. For a while at least, we will be very weak.But if we choose to set our goals on the basis of some wrong thoughts or go with some harmless flow now. It could be identified that we will be subjected to more destructive temptations. I need to remind myself here of sticking to my original faith and goals and not justifying myself for contentment or giving up in the face of difficulties. 
当我们有所成绩的时候,我们能否承受的住这自以为莫大的喜悦,并且把这成绩当成我们对于信仰的坚持而感恩呢?从我自己出发,我发现我个人时常会站立不住,当得到些许成功的时候,我很容易放松,工作也好,健身也罢。时常在达到一定的目标后让自己陷在容易被懒惰,享受的试探中,而最终结果往往又会陷入困难的境况。这是自我内心中堕落的一面,因此,我有必要时刻警醒自己,在任何时候都不要尝试将自己摆在易被试探的状态中,我们是经不起试探的,不要妄想靠着自己解决自己的软弱。一定要警醒自守,方可承受得住上天赐给我们的恩典,不至于陷入自我为义自我骄傲的网罗。
When we have achieved something, can we bear this great joy in our own conceit and express gratitude to this achievement as our persistence on faith? Personally, I find that I can’t bear it most of the time. When I have some success, I will easily slack off, at work and in workout. When I achieve a certain goal, I will be easily tempted by laziness and enjoyment and eventually stuck in a difficult situation. This is a falling side of my inner self. Hence, it is necessary for me to always remind myself that never put yourself in easily tempted situation. We can’t be tempted, and never try in vain to rely on ourselves to solve our own weakness. We must stay alert and hang on,etc. Only in this way can we bear the grace bestowed by Heaven and not plunge into the snare of self-justification and self-pride.   
从另一面看,当我们遇到困难的时候,我们能否接受如此的现象,接受当下并将此当作美好未来的基石呢?(在我看来是我的神在当时给我的管教,并且把管教当成神的慈爱,为要承受今后那好的无比的赏赐)。通常这都难以接受,我们很容易看重今生凡事都顺利,却无法理解为何会遭遇那些困难的境况。我再次需要从起初的坚持或者信仰得到帮助,才能把不喜欢的困难看成管教或者是基石,为要引导自己回到正途,减少自己被陷在绝望的网罗中。
When we have difficulties, can we accept them, embrace the present moment and take it as a foundation for a better future? (For me, it’s the discipline of God at that time, which I will take as the mercy of God to bear the incredible future rewards.) Unusually it’s difficult for us to accept them. We will easily hope that everything goes well, and can’t understand why we are in such a difficult situation. Once again I need help from my initial insistence or faith, so that I can see the unpleasant difficulties as discipline or building blocks in order to steer myself back to the right path and reduce the snare of despair which I am trapped in.




3

我发现无论是陷入享受,自我骄傲之中,或者是当我陷入沮丧之类的情况的时候,出现试探的机会必定升高。只要我们变得软弱,试探必定变得更强,一旦我们察觉试探和我们自身的问题,常让我们陷入更深的绝望。我们会质问,一个曾经有坚定信仰和目标的人为何会有这种的思想?为何会渴望做这种的事呢?如此一来,我们就把试探当作是自己的问题,试探其实不是问题,屈服在试探之下才是问题的根本。
I find that when I am caught up in enjoyment, self pride or frustration, the chances of temptation will surely rise. As long as we become weak, temptations will be stronger. Once we notice the temptations and our own problems, we will often plunge deeper into despair. We will question why such a man who once had such strong beliefs and goals would have such thoughts and yearn for such things.
As a result, we will take temptations as our own problem. As a matter of fact, temptations are not the problem, and yielding to temptations is what the problem is.
2021年,我要持续正视自己的内心,我所做的一切,其出发点是否在起初坚定的信仰和目标下的。此刻,我所能理解我们董事长所说的平常心是何等的重要。我们的喜悦是建立在我们得到的回报还是在起初为了脚踏实地的热忱;我们的忧虑是从得不到公平的对待而来还是对自己没有尽到应尽的责任而来;举一些自己的例子:比如健身,我的出发点是为了健康,有持续的动力,清晰的思路,清醒的头脑;而不是为了练成肌肉男或者男模身材,从而得到别人的赞赏。又比如工作,我需要时刻认真努力的工作,是为了能在每一个任务中尽力做到踏实落地,能造就自己,造就团队,从而荣神益人;而不是为了得到过人的回报,荣耀自己,得到众人瞩目的眼光。信仰亦是如此,时刻的思考神的教导,是为了时刻归正自己,免得让自己陷入自义,欺骗,骄傲,嫉妒的网罗;而不是为了教导别人,让别人认为自己是敬虔的人,从而从中得到虚妄的满足。
In 2021, I will continue to face up to my inner self. Is everything I do meant for my previous firm belief and goal. And I finally understand how important the peace of mind our Chairman said is. Is our joy built on what we get in return or the zeal of keeping on the ground? Is our anxiety derived from unfair treatment or unfulfilled responsibility? Take myself for example. I work out for the purpose of health, a continuous driving force and a clear mind, instead of for becoming a muscle man or a male model physique and winning appreciation from others. I work earnestly to stand on solid ground in each task, build myself and the team, and thus glorify God and doing good to others, instead of receiving exceptional returns, glorifying myself and getting all the attention. So is faith. Constant reflection on the teachings of God is to correct yourself and stop yourself from plunging into the snare of self-justification,and envy, instead of to teach others and make yourself a pious man and get false satisfaction.         
我必须正视自己的内心。
I must face up to my inner self.


作者简介 About Author


Billy(顾天阳)

2010年正式加入CNOOD工作至今,现为高级客户经理,学历MBA。见证了CNOOD每一次起点,每一次奇迹的发生。从一般贸易到工程贸易,从工程贸易到项目采购中心,现在又在为公司成为真正的EPC工程公司而努力。相信:一切不是最好就没到最后。


编辑:Iris


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